Zell vs. Hotdog.
by Quistis' twin sister Sunny
Summary: Zell has a weird dream after he comes home from a wild party. What will happen the next day? (Okay, I admit it, I suck at summaries.)


Zell vs. Hotdogs.  
Written By: Quistis' twin sister Sunny.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of FF8 or anything else I use in this story.  
  
It was a typical day for Zell Dincht. He woke up, ate hotdogs for breakfast, went to his first three classes, had hotdogs for lunch, went to his last two classes, had hotdogs for dinner, and then went to a party with Irvine and Squall. He now was in his own quiet dorm and instantly fell asleep on the floor.(He missed the bed from being so drunk.)  
  
"Zell...I've been waiting for you..." Zell found himself in darkness as he looked around for the source of the bellowing, god-like sounding voice. He couldn't find anyone else so he shrugged his shoulders and sat down cross-legged. As he awaited a response, he took a hotdog out of his pocket and began to eat it.  
  
"I am here to tell you, Zell, that...hey! What are you doing to my sister?!" The god-like voice changed to a high whiny voice. Zell took the hotdog out of his mouth and looked at it and then into the darkness. He then looked back at the hotdogs and then into the darkness and then back at the hotdog.  
  
"Eating her." Zell said calmly, taking another bite out of the pink colored flesh.  
  
"Well, stop it!" The whiny voice demanded then cleared its throat. "Ahem. As I was saying..." The whiny voice faded back to the bellowing god voice. "I am here to tell you some very, very bad news." The voice paused then continued. Zell took another bite out of his hotdog. "I am going to meet you soon and...kill you!" Thunder sounded and lightning flashed. Zell finished his hotdog and looked around boredly.  
  
"Why arn't you scared?" The voice asked in a more quiet voice. Zell stood up and started to punch the air furiously.   
  
" 'Cuz I can take anyone on with my fists 'o fury!" Zell replied triumphantly.  
  
"Maybe you didn't hear me right. Seriously, I can't understand you humans! I...AM...GOING...TO...KILL...YOU..." The voice repeated slowly. Zell stopped punching the air and sat back down on the ground.  
  
"Ooo...I'm so scared of the big black monster that is comming to kill me!" Zell said sarcastically.   
  
"C'mon, be scared!" The whiny voice returned.   
  
"No."  
  
"Aww...I'll be your friend..." The voice bribed.   
  
"No." Zell said again, this time shaking his head.  
  
"Fine. You're mean! MEEEANIEE!" The voice yelled and the darkness dissapeared. Zell slowly got off of the ground and looked around. Everything seemed normal, but today was not going to be a typical Zell Dincht day.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Zell! Over heere!" Zell looked around the crowded cafeteria and saw Selphie jumping up and down at a table in the far corner. He walked over there, a plate of hotdogs in his hands and sat down inbetween Selphie and Quistis. Across from him sat Irvine, Squall, and Rinoa.  
  
" 'Sup, guys?" Zell said, stuffing his mouth with a few hotdogs.  
  
"How can you stand to eat those?! Especially for breakfast!" Selphie said to Zell, a disgusted look on her face.   
  
"What can I say? They're good." Zell exclaimed.  
  
"Well, it won't be MY fault when you get cancer." Selphie muttered and took a sip of her coffee.  
  
"Anyways...How was the party you guys went to last night?" Rinoa asked. Zell looked over at Irvine and Irvine looked at Squall. Squall stared at his jelly doughnut that sat on a plate in front of him.  
  
"Well...It was a nice, conservative party..." Zell bluffed and Irvine nodded his head in agreement. Quistis raised and eyebrow.  
  
"So why didn't you let us go?" Quistis asked. Zell looked over at Irvine again and Irvine leaned forward in his seat.  
  
"Because..." Zell started.  
  
"Because we thought you...would be...bored." Irvine interuppted.   
  
"Hmm...Is that true, Squall?" Quistis asked. Squall continued to stare at his jelly doughnut, not saying a word.  
  
"They didn't invite you because they went to strip joint. By the way, thanks for inviting me guys!" Seifer said as him, Fujin and Raijin passed by their table. Zell jumped up, fists out.  
  
"SEIFER!!" Zell yelled but Selphie pulled him back down in his seat. Seifer smirked and they walked away. Rinoa glared at Squall.  
  
"You went to a STRIP JOINT?!" Rinoa screamed. Squall continued to stare at his doughnut.  
  
"It was his idea too." Irvine pointed out.  
  
"It was YOUR idea?!" Rinoa screamed again. Squall stayed silent. Rinoa stood up and started to yell at him, Irvine occasionaly making comments along the way. Quistis and Selphie got tired of their arguing and tried to stop Rinoa from yelling at Squall. Zell just sat there, thinking about the dream he had the night before.  
  
[Hmm...is there really something that's comming to kill me today? Nah, it was just a dream. But...what was it...it seemed to be mad that I was eating my hotdog. Was it...a hotdog? It must be...then that means I have to kill it...but it's a hotdog...hotdogs are my friends...I can't kill it...I won't!]  
  
"I LOVE YOU TO MUCH!" Zell jumped out of his chair and yelled. Everyone stopped their yelling and looked and Zell. He looked at them and sat down. Everyone else sat down too, still staring at Zell. Zell gave them a sheepish grin. "Mood swings." He said quietly.   
  
"Um, right. Anyways, any missions today?" Selphie asked. Quistis nodded slowly.  
  
"Yeah. We have to go to Dollet and take the train to Timber. That's all Cid said...but then I swear he muttered something about an orgy...anyways, we better get going now. Zell, will you go get the car?" Quistis informed them and Zell nodded. He got up and ran to the parking lot. He looked around for the car and then he saw it: It was big, pink, it was a giant hotdog. He stared at it for the longest time.  
  
"We meet again, Zell." A voice came inside his head.  
  
"So you're the one from my dream!" Zell said aloud.  
  
"Yes. Now, let me kill you." It said and Zell shook his head, holding out his fists.   
  
"No! I can beat you easily with my fists!"   
  
"Then let me see you try." The voice said tauntingly. Zell ran up to the hotdog and started to punch it. The funny thing was though, that the usually rubbery feeling, it was hard and cold. Almost like...metal. He jumped back into place as the hotdog sent a string of ketchup at him. Zell turned to the right and missed it. He punched it again a few more times and jumped back. This time, the hotdog shot out a strip of mustard and it hit Zell in the face. He wiped it off and then got ready for some serious damage. Then, a voice came from behind him...  
  
"Zell! What in the hell are you doing?!" It was Quistis. Zell turned around slowly and saw the rest of the gang. Irvine and Squall were standing at the door to the garden, laughing their asses off. Selphie and Rinoa stared at him wide eyed and Quistis stood their, her hands on her hips.   
  
"Th...this...this giant ho...hotdog...g...tried to...ki...kill me..." Zell finally managed to stutter out. Irvine and Squall laughed even harder.   
  
"Zell...that's the Oscar Myer Hotdog Mobil." Quistis said bluntly. Zell looked back at the giant hotdog. Sitting there was the really, the Oscar Myer Hotdog Mobil. Zell looked back at the group, Squall and Irvine were now rolling on the ground laughing. Zell just stared at the ground.   
  
"That's just what I want them to think I look like. I will meet you again Zell...and next time...I WILL kill you..." The voice said in his head.  
  
"OH SHUT-UP!" He yelled back at the voice. Squall and Irvine stopped laughing and looked at him. "I told you it's the MOOD SWINGS!" He walked out of the parking lot, leaving the group stunned.  
  
"I'll go get the straight jacket..." Irvine said with a sigh and we walked out of the parking lot.   
  
THE END 


End file.
